>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- zach galifianakis. from "dirty grandpa," aubrey plaza. and music from weezer. with cleto and the cletones. and now, you may or may not

[ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thanks to all of you for coming to visit us here. in california where award season upon us. academy awards are not until next month but there's a major controversy. this year for the second year in a row all the acting nominees are white. some of them are very white, like -- some of them are like unforgivably white. and so jada pinkett smith made a video about this and spike lee made a video and even snoop dogg is upset. >> watch the [ bleep ] oscars. no, why do i watch that [ bleep ] for.

nominated. all the great [ bleep ] stealing from us, [ bleep ] you, [ bleep ] you. >> jimmy: he doesn't mean us. he means them. not us. still upset about getting snubbed for "soul plane." while there's a lot of actor directed at the academy right now whose fault is this? is this the academy's fault, hollywood's fault for not giving them enough roles to warrant more consideration, or is it matt damon's fault which i kind of think some of it -- [ cheers and applause ] -- is on him. to get a sense of what's going on with all this we have academy of motion picture arts and sciences pr director stewart bloom with us to talk about the controversy via satellite. first of all, thank you for joining us. >> thank you for having me, jimmy. >> jimmy: i know this is a big issue for you. something you take very seriously. what will the academy do now?

which action is it taking? >> well, our plan is to make this right. not just in the future, now. >> jimmy: how will you make it right now? >> well, we're modifying many of the oscar nominated films to be more inclusive. >> jimmy: what does that mean, modifying? >> well, for instance, the "big short" is being changed to "the big shouty." >> jimmy: you mean shawty, right? >> shawty, yes. it's like the song" bayou a >> jimmy: yeah. is that little bow-wow? that is little bow-wow. it is. >> jimmy: how are you going to add little bow-wow to the movie itself? >> through cgi, jimmy. you can do anything. >> jimmy: all right. >> i just -- here's at one bep >> jimmy: you did?

the film "room" starring larson and jacob, here comes "crib" starring queen latifah. >> jimmy: isn't that wonderful. "room" is not a comedy. >> "room" is not a comedy, you're correct, but "crib" is and it's hilarious. kevin hart is good as 5-year-old kid. i think he can win this one. >> jimmy: is that it? what else are you working on? is that it? >> no, no, no. we have "the revenant," that is going to become "the revenant al sharpton." you know, jimmy, his hair is like that because he got attacked by a bear. >> jimmy: i've always wondered that. makes sense. >> oh, and "the martian" becomes "the martin." >> jimmy: i like that. okay. >> and did you see the movie "steve jobs"? >> jimmy: yes, i did.

consideration that will now be called "steve harvey." >> jimmy: okay. doesn't that completely change the movie though? >> well, in the new version steve accidently announces the iphone 5 instead of the iphone 6, then he has to go back and apologize. >> jimmy: all right. that's even more fun in a way. [ applause ] stewart, do you think these changes will solve this problem? >> oh, jimmy, i am sure of it. in fact, we are launching our own hashtag, it's #gettingjig #gettingjiggywithit. >> jimmy: thank you, stewart. i appreciate that. i tell you something, if you wrk on a problem you come up with a solution. so thanks to stewart for that. [ cheers and applause ] hey, you know, the governor of new jersey chris christie was in

drum up support ahead of the iowa primary and he did that by holding a town hall meeting in a restaurant where any grilled the governor about school lunch. >> what are you going to do about the lunches, because, okay, it was fines the first lady but now that mrs. obama is the first lady, they've gone down. and i used to eat all thenches, square pizza, not gluten-free stuff. >> jimmy: the first thing is we have an 11-year-old who says he -- his school lunches were better when laura bush was the first the bush's left office seven years ago which we he would have been, best case scenario, 4 years old. for assume he was a genius and got in kindergarten when he was 2 and has fond memories of the crisp

baby coming in. how do you as chris christie respond for this mini doogie >> the first lady has no business being involved in it but using the government to mandate her point of view of what people should be eating every day is none of her business. it just isn't.eople to eat more healthy. i'm trying to eat more healthy. we all should be trying to do that. better, live longer, better quality of life. it's your choice. >> jimmy: if kids had a choice they would eat nothing but skittles all day. they would have skittles for breakfast and slurpees for of position is this? why in the world would chris christie. even comment on this subject? this is an enormous man. he's taking a stand againstl lunches?

chris christiea is like bill cosby doing an ad for lunesta. it makes no oh, thank you. do you think once you have a rubber band surgically tied around your stomach maybe you would shy away from a subject like that. to me seems chris pockets. donald trump got a major endorsement today from none other than sarah palin. she agreed to endorse him and he agreed to let him shoot that animal on top of her head. it's important you don't want a low-quality crappy people who conk out right after thees endorsing you but here's sarah palin in iowa just a few hours ago. >> you quit footing the bill for these nations who are oil rich we're of their

on for centuries, where they're fighting each other and yellingal la akbar, on each other's heads forever and ever. like i said before, let them duke it out and let all of us sort it out. >> jimmy: is she stillause ] by the way, in case you don't know, a squirmish is what happens when squirrels go to war. it's called a ] i hope i'm pronouncing his name right man, he's not anymore. he passed away today. he was 112. i guess in retrospect the surprise party was not a good idea. but thereetty sure he's the one in the middle. he said one of the secrets to his long life was to, quote, not overdo it. and i don't know, isn't living to 112 kind of the definition of it?

his dream was to live long enough to see the movie " ride made it. he made it. [ applause ] it's bittersweet, i know. made this weekend. sesame street which has been airing on pbs public television for free for the past 45 years, on saturday omove to hbo. new episodes will air first on hbo and reair on pbs after that. of course sesame street is a family show and hbo has a very bep did something to help them satisfy audiences of all ages. we combined the audio from "girls" the, hbo show, withm "sesame street" and the result is everybody wins. >> what did he have to say for himself? quickly before you start i told you so. i just want the way. >> you didn't tell me so. >> beg your pardon? >> you didn't tell me so.

i seem to recall actually saying to your face that your. >> yeah, but you say that everyone is a homosexual. >> most people are. gay. >> he reads "bi."right. i like it. we have to take a break. when we come back the worst online passwords of the year have been n the list. and i had a sleepover with barbie which i will share after this, so stick around. [ applause ] see you. it started with a single connection. and the network was born. th people until it became clear that the network was not a fad or aluxury but a basic human necessity. and so, at&t built a network, just for you. connects your family

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>> jimmy: tonight on theezer.

have zach galifianakis." magazine which has been in business since 1965 will no longer continue in print. for those of you who were too young to remember, magazines were like paper versionsept instead of clearing our browser history you would hide them under your mattress. "penthouse" magazine will still be available online, same deal as to stop printing soon. "penthouse" was more of an anatomy to me because i guess it means my dear penthouse forum is never going to get published. it was all lies anyway. it's okay. there was a twitter a global twitter out an. twitter was down for six hours which is scary because, you know, the only social media outlets we had for six hours was facebook, youtube, snapchat,m, and vine.

clever this morning. i was forced to share it with my wife. didn't even get a like. it was terrible. i- i actually think it's good when twitter goes down. it's nice. i think it would be great if all social media went down at random times for a few hours everyt to remind people there's a world, like a real one where hashtags are pound signs the way god intended them to be. thiso raptors beat the orlando magic in special nba game, they played in that raptors guard rosen played in london. before the game he took time-out to crunch the numbers. >> i'm trying to walk out of here 1 -- is will be my third game here. 1-2. you know what i mean.

>> you played two games and you add one, that meansgames. >> but you said 1-3. >> if we win -- >> 1 for 3. >> 1-2. >> 1-4-3, >> ufc, baby. [ applause ] >> jimmy: those two guys are a i have some important information regarding your cyber security. the annual list of america's worst passwords is out. ords of the year is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and password. who does that? these must be the same people who have children name their teddy bear teddy, m passwords inspired by "star wars" made the list including solo, princess, and "star wars."ess it makes sense when you think about it the whole first "star wars" movie is about a stolen password.

password and definitely do not make your password 123456. if you can remember your password it's no good.f online -- may i have that? i mentioned this. this is the hello barbie. this is a new doll from mattel. it connects to wi-fi.y interacts with your kid. it records your child's voice in realtime. sends it over wi-fi to the cloud in a bank of some sort of e servers generate a response to what your kid is saying. it gets sent back and spoken by barbie. like this. hello, barbie. hi. i was just playing around with different hairstyles. can you help me pick out the perfect one for today? >> i think the one you have is hank you so much. i always love your look. how do you think i should wear

so it's -- it makes me nervous when a toy because when a toy comes to life you don't know if you're going to get like a buzz light year or chuckie chuckie, you know? i've been hello barbie and she interacts but i wish she interacted a little bit less. to take your car in tomorrow morning. >> what's something you would enjoy about being in bed? >> jimmy: about being a a terrific goal. have you always been so helpful? >> i said remind me to take your car in in the morning. >> hey, you let's pretend that there's a sick puppy and i will be your veterinarian's assistant. okay. here we go. oh, dear.t adorable puppy. his eyes are watering.

and he just looks so tired. what's wrong with him, bestterinarian ever? >> jimmy: that's really how you would talk if you were my veterinarian assistant? >> hey, i just thought of a song about being a veterinarian. check it my: no. you grow up you're going to be a vet everyone will want to bring you their pet so don't worry if you're not quite there yetty of time to live your dream whether saving animal or eating ice cream tomorrow is coming quick and it's here before you know it let's hear it for the vet and let's show work work work he show we aubrey plaza is here, and we'll be right back with zach galifianakis.

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>> jimmy: tonight, from the new movie "dirty grandpa," aubrey plaza is here.self-titled album comes out april 1st. it's self-titled but known as "the white album," weezer from age. you can see weezer live on tour with panic at the disco all summer. tomorrow night, casey affleck ens

music from savages. and on thursday, zac efron, malin akerman, and music from ben harper and the innocent criminals. please join us for all first guest tonight is a very talented actor, comedian out of north carolina. he has a great new show called" baskets" that premiers on fx on thursday night at welcome zach galifianakis. [ applause ] it's very good to see you. it's been a long time since i saw you. >> it's been a few years since i've been here, jimm a long time. you had a baby since then. >> yeah. i have -- [ applause ]

but, yeah, it's fun. >> jimmy: he does? >> yeah. this is one of the jokes that i do you mind if i -- >> jimmy: go ahead. >> it's a usual. you just be the -- >> jimmy: i'll be the -- >> yeah. okay.k. who's there? >> jimmy: i didn't know if he was speaking or not. >> sorry. >> jimmy: start over again? >> take a political joke. knock knock. >> jimmy: who's there? >> jimmy: benjamin netanyahu? he likes that. how, that's -- do you feel like you're a good father? >> yeah, i like being a dad. it's a lotimmy: what's the best part about being a dad? >> just getting up and making breakfast with him and i'm

athlete right you are? how do you do that? >> just force him to do it. >> jimmy: it's only way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what's the worst part about being a dad with you? >> just getting up and the triathlon, that whole thing. >> jimmy: it's tough. >> yeah, it's tough. >> jimmy: can i just -- real sorry. i don't want to say anything. your eyebrows seem -- they seem think the last time that you were here. they have -- >> it's showing a bit? i'm half greek so that's probably it.my: yeah. i'm getting -- really, it seems like they're -- i don't know. maybe you could use like a trim or something like that?ll just be honest with you. beards got really popular, and i was trying to set myself apart. and my stylist and eyebrowist told me that --

>> i have an eyebrowist.. they told me to, you know, let it grow out. and this is new look that's -- that's going to be sweeping the nation. >> jimmy: so your team. and did they split like eyebrow or how does it work? >> i have four people for each brow. >> jimmy: you do? i was thinking a two-man. >> no, in all seriousnes thing, i didn't know it was going to show up. i'm a little embarrassed. >> jimmy: it does read on camera. you can -- >> they told meto read. but it's a side effect for some medication that i'm taking. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. i didn't mean to -- >> i have body you do? that's where you don't like certain parts of your body. >> well, i think i'm short. >> jimmy: so you think >> yeah, i think i'm short in real life. i know i'm not. in real life i'm like 6'5" but

i'm short and i take called -- i can't remember the name of it. >> jimmy: you can't remember the name of the medicine? that's another one of the side effects. >> loss of memory? >> yeah, loss of memory. i have sausage toes. >> jimmy: oh, no. it sounds delicious. > jimmy: you have rainbow shaft? i'm so sorry. i didn't -- >> candy ass of the penis. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. do you want to -- maybe we ecause i feel like i've traveled into territory i shouldn't have. we'll let itianakis is here. we'll be right back.

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what do you want? >> tangerine fanta, please. >> tangerine fanta, please. >> we do not have not have that. >> tab, that's fine. >> just a tab then. >> no. >> no. >> pepsi lime? >> pepsi lime? >> we have coke. >> we have coke.new or classic. >> regular coke. >> just a schweppes then.

>> swhweppes. >> i thought i heard two people. >> okay. swheppes. >> say ach galifianakis, brand new show called "baskets" and premiers on thursday night on fx. so last night i got the screenere show and i was intending to watch one so i knew what was going on before you came on. and i watched all five of the available shows. >> five of them?ive of them, yeah. all of them, too. >> wow. >> jimmy: it's very funny. my wife was angry with me. she came home from dinner and said, i watched all five and i all without her so we're going have wait a month and half to catch up. >> it's a strange show as i have hair glued to my eyebrows.lay -- >> jimmy: is that your own hair?

[ applause ] >> jimmy: it lookse need an applause break. >> jimmy: it looks like you're radiation treatment now. >> sorry. >> jimmy: oh, now, that's looks better? >> jimmy: you look like you about? >> jimmy: the show. >> it's about a weird -- it's a weird show about a bitter rodeo clown who studies clownnd moves back to bakersfield to become a rodeo clown. louie anderson plays my mom in was going to ask you about that because louie anderson, the comedian, best known perhaps from his performance on thew "splash." >> i heard about that. >> jimmy: he was great on that. he plays your mother and he plays it very straight. he's, you know, a woman throughout the whole show.

who to cast in it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then the producer i said, i don't know, i justce in my head and i i'm mitated the voice and louie said you mean like louie anderson's voice? i said, yes. he him? i said yes. that's how he got cast in the show. so, we're lucky to have him. >> jimmy: is this the first show you worked on with louie s. i mean, a few years ago louie -- i don't know if he would remember this but he called me to go across-country with him and his dog. but that -- we never got around to doing now we're just -- >> jimmy: instead you're doing this? >> we're doing this instead. >> jimmy: who is the woman that plays your friend/assistant in the clip? is martha kelly and she's the worst improv actress i've ever seen in my life. >> jimmy: i think she's

>> she's really, show. she's a friend of mine. we used to do open mikes together in culver city. i just threw the years always in something. she always would say no. but i think she said yes to this because she was living with her parents in t kind of motivated her j . >> jimmy: solid reason. >> jimmy: why do you say she's the worst improv actor? >> you take a suggestion xwoond the yes and move it. this is martha. i would say a line and she would go, well, um be it. that was her improv. but we kept a lot of the well, umps. of ambien. >> jimmy: of somehow it works out well. you and louie have known each other for how long?

starting. so he was -- i think he was writing on the david letterman him and gigs and through the years i would see him and he called me to do this and i didn't have any confidence in doing it and i still don't have any confidence now that i've seen it. but it'seal lucky and happy that it's just this weird show that, you know, i'm kind of even it's weird enough that people will think it's interesting enough to think it's interesting. >> jimmy: with mainstream america it's not going to be the "big-bang theory" but i liked it. iit like race isinetes. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: not just for the movies, either. you can have them at home. >> what are raisinetes, holdhave chocolate over them? >> jimmy: yes. you don't know raisinetes? >> i knew the california raisins years ago. >> jimmy: this is different.

>> jimmy: no, no, no. guys. >> they had drug problems. you. problems. >> thank you. thank you for understanding. thank you guys for understanding. his show. it's called "baskets," it premiers thursday night at 10:00 on fx.rey plaza. (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding) , 2, 1 (ding) (ding) (ding)

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[ chucklthe right to remain handsome? [ chuckles ] wait.

>> jimmy: our next guest is yet another funny person. we are so #blessed tonight.ow from seven seasons on "parks and rec." starting friday you can see her doing things to robert deniro and with zac efron in "dirty grandpa." please say hello to aubrey plaza. [ applause ]

how are you doing? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: that's really nice of zach. he's got rainbow shaft. it's hardo do. this is an injury. >> that's right. >> jimmy: what happened to you? >> i tore my acl playing basketball. i had knee surgery. and i'm recovering. and -- nicer to you now that you have a cast? do they have sympathy and do they react in a positive way? >> yeah. they -- i think they feel -- i don't know. i don't know. >> jimmy: you don't know. >> no. >> jimmy: you brought a photograph. you were in -- this is a seriousn a wheelchair for a while. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how long were you in a wheelchair? >> i was only -- basically i tore my acl and the day went to a bachelor weekend for my gay best friend and we did wine tastings.

tasting in a wheelchair you should try it. >> jimmy: seems like the best way to do it. >> yeah, it's great because you don't know how drunk you areave to stand. so you just -- >> jimmy: why may i ask is he dresseds dressed as santa claus. first of all, he wanted to go to mexico and we surprised him and we told him to just pack bathing suits and flip-flops but we actually took him up north cold. and then we packed him another suitcase with just a santa costume in it. and that's all he had to wear all weekend. >> jimmy: oh, -- yeah. he was wheeling me around. and people were very afraid of our group. >> jimmy: i would think they would be, yeah. >> they stayed away from us.immy: by the way, you're very funny in this new movie. >> "dirty grandpa." movie called "dirty granould you describe your -- you're in it. you're attracted to robert de niro. >> that's right. >> jimmy: how old is robert de

>> i believe bob is 73. >> jimmy: i'm sorry,dn't have sex with him on film. >> well, i did, so. >> jimmy: and describe that ell, you know, the movie is -- my character of lenore is -- for me it's a love we're soul mates, you know. i'm going to spring break with mye niro's character lies and says he's a professor and my character has an obsession with having sex with a professor. so i zero in on him and i'm ep ] you, he's like, i'm going to [ bleep ] you, too. and then we do. >> jimmy: spoiler alert. but, yeah. >> what was the question? know, i think it was -- well, it's crazy

situation like this where you're really saying very, verythings to him. know. it's kind of like he's met his match with me. he's a dirty grandpa and i'm a >> yeah. with him. >> we do, yeah. it was fun. >> jimmy: was it fun? >> yeah. >> jimmy: people always say it's not fun but it was fun -- it was fun. was it fun for him as well? >> i can't speak for him. you know, we -- it was a long day. they allotted an entire day jimmy: they did, really? like how many hours? >> i would say about nine, a solid nine, maybe ten. and there was a lot of interesting stuff that went down, you thing in particular was the director who's british, dan mazer, who is awesome and i loved him, he -- you kn bit of like oh of we didn't totally plan out the scene.

to go down soere dan would call me over and be like, in the next take, aubrey, why don't you suck on his nipples, try that. i would be like, you want me to -- robertand then he goes, yeah, suck on his nipples. i would go and try to do it and i would try to get in there and suck on his ike batting me away. and i didn't know if it was like in character or not because you never -- you never know. >> jimmy: right, yeah, sure. >> and then they cut the cameraalled me back and he's like, bob does not like his nipple paid attention to. so don't doas like, great. well, now he thinks that i wanted to do that and -- it was a lot of really fun moments likeo you feel like you earned his respect as an actor because i mean, he's one of the all-time greats? >> i don't know.

but i hope -- i had a couple him, like i mean, the first half of the shooting process i heard from my agent that -- who had spoken to his agent legitimately scared of me. like i think because, you know, in the movie i'm playing a 21-year-old and i've got like a wig and i'm all like bronzed up and i'm acting like a drunk and i'm not really like that. you know, in real life. and i think every time i was around him it was right before we started shooting so i was all over him and i him out. but i had a couple of moments with him like there's one scene where i have to throw up and in the first take i threw up and then i like tried to kiss him and he -- he a reaction where he was like, uh, like get away from me. and then when they cut the

very good. you had thrown up. >> jimmy: that's all you can really dream of as an actor is making robert de niro branch will.hat the guy from "cape fear" would be scaried of you. >> i'm terrifying. >> jimmy: where did you get the cane?t this to me as a joke for christmas and then it turns out that the joke is on me. >> jimmy: it could be your new . i don't know. canes.com, i don't know. >> jimmy: very good to see you. you're very funny in the movie. it's called "dirty day. we'll be right back with weezer. [ applause ] ause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is

l live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: thanks to zachbrey plaza,

"nightline" is next. but first, their new self-titled ere with the song "thank god for girls," weezer! [ cheers and applause ] the girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair is making a cannoli for you trip in the woods with your bros that you've known since second grade and you may encounter dragons or ruffians and be called upon to employ your testosteronesupremacy and access to females glued to the tv and even if you are victorious you may receive many cuts bruises and scrapes quire band-aids and antiseptic ointments and tender loving kisses on your stab wounds and when you come home she will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes cannoli to shove in your mouth and that's why you thank god for girls christe from tennessee to la

you better bow down and pray she's so big she's so strongic in her sweaty overalls k god for girls for girls thank god for girls thank god for girls i'm so glad i got a girl to though she isn't mine i think about her all the day and all the night it's enough to know that she's alive she says i give her sweaty palms she almost had a heart attackjust as scared i don't know how to act i wish that i could get to know her better but meeting up in real life would cause the illusion toarved her name into all the trees sang a song down on one knee

i'm levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way around i'm like an indian fakir tryn'ta with my pants pulled down thank god for girls holla jesu christessee to la thank god for girls on your reckoning day you better bow she's so big she's so strong she's so energetic in her sweaty overalls thank god nk god for girls for girls thank god for girls thank god for girlsam ground it up in a centrifuge machine mixed it with cardamom and cloves microwaved it on the

that really hurts going off into the tundra so pissed at god and he started lighting minoring osprey eggs messing with the bees who were trying to pollinate the echinacea until god said i ' ma smite you with lonelinessn two and adam wept and wailed tearing out his hair falling on his knees looked to the sky and said thank god